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    My Motherhood Roadmap





    Every day I hear and read and see adults who seem to really enjoy the company of their mothers. They share interests, talk about their lives, ask for advice, have fun together… 

    Of course, I know things seen from the outside always appear more perfect than when you are inside.  Yet, in spite of this knowledge, I also KNOW there are people out there with moms that they really enjoy, (even if they occasionally disagree).  There are people who have mothers that they would CHOOSE to spend time with.  And, being a mother of two young ones (one daughter, one son), still so close to me, yet growing more independent by the day, I want to know why and how. How does that close relationship develop? And why do some mothers and children stay close while some push each other away?

     

    I want my good relationship to grow, to continue, to last with my daughter and son.  But without the firsthand knowledge of a close mother-daughter relationship, I frequently find myself feeling adrift.  Oft times I’m not sure what to say or do to be moving towards closeness with my children – especially at times when they try to pull away (which I know experimenting with increased autonomy with a heavy dose of snottiness is completely normal at this age, but knowing doesn’t make it easy).  As an infant, attachment parenting was easy.  I’ve found that applying the concepts of closeness and attachment gets harder for me – as they grow older, more independent, more wanting to be their selves.  Which, don’t get me wrong – I get!  I want to foster their independence too.  But I also want them to talk to me, like I never did (or ever wanted to) talk to my mom, to want to be around me. To like the things I like, so we can do them together (without pushing them on to them).

     

    And then there’s me: I worry often about setting a good example with who I am, and the way I react to certain situations: could I or should I be more positive, cheerful, and light (or do I risk raising Pollyanna)?  Should I try to be more fun and spontaneous or should I be more organized and regimented?   Should I let them have more privacy or should I ask more details about their day, their friends, their feelings?  My daughter is only 5 (going on 15), but I want to set the stage for sharing now, when the conversations are light…

     

    There are just so many questions – so many unknowns in parenting. I just want to know I’m doing the right thing.  I think I’m on the right path… I just wish there were more clear road signs along the way.   

     

    For those of you who had really clear road maps… what did your mom do that helped foster that closeness?  Or if your mom did something to create distance, if you feel like sharing that, I’d really like to hear it.

    Posted: May 04 2010, 12:32 by kelly | Comments (8) RSS comment feed |
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    Springtime Views from Our Perennial Gardens





    Back in the beginning of March I posted about the very first signs of Spring in our perennial gardens – the snow melting and flower sprouts bravely pushing up through the mulch.   Fast forward just two months – see how much exciting growth has happened in our gardens - - -  Thank you Mother Nature!

     

    The kiss of the sun, for pardon. The song of the birds, for mirth.

    One is nearer God’s heart in a garden, than anywhere else on earth.

    ~ Dorothy Frances Gurney

     (Thank you to @OnBradstreet for sharing with me this perfect poem)


    Clematis (my favorite climber)



     
    Columbine (with Foamflower behind)

     


    Coreopsis (with Hosta)

     


    Poppy (our newest addition this year)

     

     

     


    Salvia (with Liatris & Daisies behind - not yet in bloom)

     

     


    Iris (so beautiful, yet so fleeting - they last only a week)

     

     


    Wild Strawberries (Mother Nature's surprise for us, it grew in this year in place of grass!)

    Posted: May 02 2010, 12:28 by kelly | Comments (2) RSS comment feed |
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    Filed under: Gardening