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    Are You Afraid to Change?





    What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing you need to do.

    ~Anthony Robbins


    The only thing holding you back is you.


    That statement can be difficult to believe. We’d like to think it’s all sorts of circumstances outside of ourselves - things we’ve chosen, perhaps, but more often things we have felt we have no control over - that have pushed us down the path where we are. Not, instead, that we’ve chosen the path we’re on, or that we’re still on this path because we are choosing not to leave it.  Excuses are comforting. Complaining about our lot in life, over why we can’t do this or that, or what has been done to us, gives us a false feeling of comfort - especially when we share those complaints with others around us. People nod, agree, commiserate, and empathize… and we go on feeling consoled in our state of not doing.

    We don’t move towards what we want because we think we can’t change. And that belief in “can’t” because of x,y,z locks us into not doing what we actually want to do. Not doing leads to more not doing - Newton’s law even backs up our own laziness - and as time passes, we hold on to the excuses more tightly; they become us. And we don’t change. We don’t take risks, we don’t try something new, we don’t pay attention to our dreams, because… we are afraid to fail, afraid of others’ opinions, afraid of change, afraid to lose, afraid, maybe, that we won’t even LIKE what we want to do.  More than thinking we can’t change…


    We are AFRAID to change.

    What are you afraid of? If you try and fail you have lost nothing. If you try and succeed… think of how amazing that will feel. And if you succeed, if you’ve shown yourself that you can instead of can’t, you’ll be more likely to continue moving towards what you want, to start believing in your dreams, to embrace change. I encourage you to try - even if it’s a small thing you’ve been wanting to do, but have been afraid of - to take a step towards it. Tell yourself you can. Because you can. And you will.

    Posted: Nov 22 2013, 14:29 by kelly | Comments (3) RSS comment feed |
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    Filed under: Inspirational

    How Would You Change?





    A few evenings ago, Adam & I decided to watch a quick movie before heading up to bed. It was quite late, but we wanted to try to settle our minds a bit after a hectic day – as family, work, and life can sometimes – often – be.  The title of this one struck me, as did the length (brief), so we settled in…

     

    (okay, deep breath, because I just watched it again before writing this post…)

     

    I will tell you firstly – in retrospect – this might not be the best thing to watch right before bed. Secondly, if you’re a parent, or soon to be a parent, or want to be a parent, and you watch this… you’re likely to find it deeply affecting.

     

    I can hope it will affect you in a positive and uplifting way, as it did us.

     

    See… I often think about my “bucket list”, and/or the things in our life I’d like to do differently – tomorrow, some day, when I have the chance, when I get the opportunity, when I’m in a better place, or frame of mind, or situation, or whatever. I think most of us do – it’s part of the human condition. But when you’re faced with death. In an instant. Like Mr. Elias was, and will describe… I imagine those things we’ve back-burnered, come rushing to the forefront.

     

    So it really makes me wonder: what am I waiting for? Why not make the best of what I have RIGHT. NOW? Why not try to enjoy each & every moment – small or big, good or bad? If I’m putting out energy, why not make it as positive as possible? And IF I’m putting effort into parenting, why not always do my best to be the most excellent parent I can?  I often find myself being okay with “enough” or even surrendering to the “bad parent” character – because yes, we all have those days, and not everyone can be perfect – but. But what if that day, that one day (that maybe is actually a week or a month, because it’s become a habit to just do enough to get through the day, and the next day will be better, right?), is THE day? The last day? What if that day, I KNOW I didn’t go after life with gusto? That I didn’t choose to be happy? That I didn’t try my best as a parent? What if?

    So with that, I’ll let you watch the video… Ric Elias: Three Things I Learned While My Plane Crashed


     

    To recap (or, if you can’t see the video for some reason), here’s what Ric Elias learned in those last moments:  

     

    1) I no longer want to postpone anything in my life.


    2) I decided to eliminate negative energy in my life. I no longer try to be right, I choose to be happy.


    3) Above all, above all - the only goal I have in life is to be a good dad. 


    I was given the gift of a miracle of not dying that day. I was given another gift which was to be able to see into the future and come back and live, differently.


    I challenge you today:


    How would you change?


    What would you get done that you’re waiting to get done because you think you’ll be here forever?


    How would you change your relationships & the negative energy in them?


    And more than anything – are you being the best parent you can be?

     

    So my readers… I have decided to accept his challenge, and hope you will too. Think about what you would change, and start today – now – to take steps towards that change. Commit to trying your hardest, being your most positive, making the most out of each moment as it comes, and always being the best parent your kids could want.

     

    Posted: Jan 25 2012, 22:36 by kelly | Comments (1) RSS comment feed |
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    New Year Musings





    Every man regards his own life as the New Year's Eve of time.
    ~Jean Paul

    The end of the year is unusual, how it makes you think about time. Of course, we’re always thinking about time – how much we have of it, how much more we wish we had. But on December 31st, the way I think of time changes. Every other day of the year I think of in terms of 24 hours… actually, more like 18 hours – the time when I’m awake in a day (a day of when do I set my alarm to wake, when do my children wake, when do they go to school, and I to work, how many things can I check off my list in my day before picking my children up from school, what projects can we finish or how many games can we play in the time before I have to start preparing dinner, what activities can fill the time before bed, do I have enough time to write while Adam bathes the kids, I can’t believe it’s getting so late and the children aren’t asleep yet, should we work on finishing a project, or should we read or watch a movie and relax and would you look at the time, I’m only going to get 5 hours of sleep tonight… before waking up and doing it all over again. And again).

    But then comes New Year’s Eve. The one day in the year that carries a definitive end point – and not just the end of a day or a month, but the end of a year and, for this year – of a decade. Time on New Year’s Eve becomes less of a loop, and more of an explicit period. This year. Next year. What have you done all year? All decade? What will you do next? It’s a time for both reflection and renewal.


    (Source: Flikr  Artist: Robbert van der Steeg) 

     

    Today we spent cleaning, organizing, and finishing projects not completed. And, as the day draws to a close, we have come to the realization that we tend to do this every year – without really planning: we just fall naturally into completing things left undone, tackling jobs left “til tomorrow”, and at the same time, thinking about big things to come. New Year’s Eve is just another day, and yet, the promise of a new year – a new start is so tangible, it motivates us to tie up loose ends and look excitingly ahead to the future. It’s a time to make amends with things unsettled in your mind, reflect on the good events, dust old cobwebs – real and figurative, and muse about what lies ahead.

    I’ve made New Year’s Resolutions in the past. But this year, instead of a numbered list of things I resolve to achieve I’ve decided instead to think of things I’m most thankful for in this year, and what promising thoughts and hopes are on the horizon of my 2011:

     

    ~ I’m grateful for my children – their beauty and brilliance and their very being is my constant reminder to try harder and reach further.

    ~ I’m thankful for my husband – his steadfast commitment to happiness and peacefulness in our relationship and connection with our children along with his passion for his work and self-betterment is inspiring.

    ~ I’m grateful for my blog – it’s helped me rediscover my passion for writing  – which had been somewhat lost and shuffled to the bottom of the pile of things to do throughout my life, but is now making it’s way back forefront.

    ~ I’m thankful for my readers, twitter followers, and facebook friends – knowing people read what I write helps motivate me to keep writing.


    (Three of us watching the countdown to the new year. The 4th of us was sleeping.) 

    I strive this year to stay positive, be more peaceful and forgiving, and reach towards the me that my children already see – with their clear, unbiased, and unconditionally loving eyes.

    And, I hope for peace and satisfaction and health for everyone in the new year. Happy 2011!

    Posted: Dec 31 2010, 21:20 by kelly | Comments (2) RSS comment feed |
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    The Question of Time





    A stitch in time saves nine.

    Time flies when you’re having fun.

    Time & tide wait for no man.

    Time after time.

    It’s a question of time.

     

    How many songs, sayings, stories, idioms are about time? How often do we recognize the existence of, and lament the amount of, time in our lives? I will find myself nostalgic about times past, and hopeful at times to come.  I look at my ever-growing children and almost daily am faced with the reality (and fear) that time is fleeting.  And, there is the always-present weighty feeling of never having enough time to do what I want to do.   Like write. I just finished having a twitter conversation with a writer-mommy (@inkgypsy), about having such a strong desire to write, and this far-off feeling that I really want to be a writer, yet feeling that I didn't have the time to do it.  She suggested setting a goal for what I want, make the time for that goal, and the rest will follow.

     

    I like this idea. Certainly, taking some action, however small, towards my goals is better than mourning the lack of time, fretting over how overbooked I am, how many directions in which I am being pulled, complaining about how late I go to bed, how often my children wake, or how early I’m awakened, or how my to-do list keeps growing, and my would-like-to-do list as well, and how the latter never sees the light of day because I struggle to find the time to get everything done on the former. Pining over times past, when I felt I had so much more time (yet, did I really manage it any better back then?) and worrying over how will I ever be able to find the time to do the things I want to do, when I have all this stuff I have to do. And on an on.  In my fretting over trying to find time, I’m losing time. It is certainly better to take a step towards productivity, and a step away from self-pity.

     

    Oh, big self-perpetuating sigh. 

     

    It's really true, isn't it? Getting the things done that we want to; it’s not about finding the time.  It’s about deciding what it is that’s really important, and then choosing to rearrange your schedule to accommodate those things.  Making time for those things.

     

    So I have decided that  instead of mourning the passage of time, I will seize the day.  Or, more succinctly, when I feel that spark of something I want to do or get done, I’m going to do it. If I can’t do it that moment, I’m going to make a specific plan to get it done, and then… find a way to put that plan into action. and here I am, at 1:30am on my laptop. Writing because I needed to, and I’m so tired of listening to myself complain about not having enough time to do the things I want to do... so I made the time.

     

     

     

     

    You know, even if I keep the complaints only to myself. My inner monologue matters! What I think, I become. What I want to do, I will get done.

     

    So no more yearning for missing time.  What’s the point of yearning for time, when it’s right here? The act of troubling over losing time takes time itself.  I’m tired of it.  I’m going to take each moment as it comes, and make the best out of it.

     

     There’s no time like the present. Right?

    Posted: Jul 12 2010, 01:36 by kelly | Comments (2) RSS comment feed |
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