Wordless Wednesday: Look Up at the Sky
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I never get tired of the blue sky.
~Vincent van Gogh
In the midst of your hectic day... kids, work, school, activities, meetings, errands, meals, exercise, to-do-lists, [fill-in-the-blank here]... take a moment to pause & look. Up. At the sky, in all its splendor: always present, always changing. It grounds me and fills me with energy. This past month, I've observed the sky more than usual. Perhaps it's been the unusually warm weather we've been having that has drawn my eyes (and camera) upwards. Regardless of the reason, I'm glad of the moments of peace our sky has given me, and I hope these images give you a bit of peace, too.
Take a moment wherever you are, and look up! Peace to you.
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A few evenings ago, Adam & I decided to watch a quick movie before heading up to bed. It was quite late, but we wanted to try to settle our minds a bit after a hectic day – as family, work, and life can sometimes – often – be. The title of this one struck me, as did the length (brief), so we settled in…
(okay, deep breath, because I just watched it again before writing this post…)
I will tell you firstly – in retrospect – this might not be the best thing to watch right before bed. Secondly, if you’re a parent, or soon to be a parent, or want to be a parent, and you watch this… you’re likely to find it deeply affecting.
I can hope it will affect you in a positive and uplifting way, as it did us.
See… I often think about my “bucket list”, and/or the things in our life I’d like to do differently – tomorrow, some day, when I have the chance, when I get the opportunity, when I’m in a better place, or frame of mind, or situation, or whatever. I think most of us do – it’s part of the human condition. But when you’re faced with death. In an instant. Like Mr. Elias was, and will describe… I imagine those things we’ve back-burnered, come rushing to the forefront.
So it really makes me wonder: what am I waiting for? Why not make the best of what I have RIGHT. NOW? Why not try to enjoy each & every moment – small or big, good or bad? If I’m putting out energy, why not make it as positive as possible? And IF I’m putting effort into parenting, why not always do my best to be the most excellent parent I can? I often find myself being okay with “enough” or even surrendering to the “bad parent” character – because yes, we all have those days, and not everyone can be perfect – but. But what if that day, that one day (that maybe is actually a week or a month, because it’s become a habit to just do enough to get through the day, and the next day will be better, right?), is THE day? The last day? What if that day, I KNOW I didn’t go after life with gusto? That I didn’t choose to be happy? That I didn’t try my best as a parent? What if?
So with that, I’ll let you watch the video… Ric Elias: Three Things I Learned While My Plane Crashed
To recap (or, if you can’t see the video for some reason), here’s what Ric Elias learned in those last moments:
1) I no longer want to postpone anything in my life.
2) I decided to eliminate negative energy in my life. I no longer try to be right, I choose to be happy.
3) Above all, above all - the only goal I have in life is to be a good dad.
I was given the gift of a miracle of not dying that day. I was given another gift which was to be able to see into the future and come back and live, differently.
I challenge you today:
How would you change?
What would you get done that you’re waiting to get done because you think you’ll be here forever?
How would you change your relationships & the negative energy in them?
And more than anything – are you being the best parent you can be?
So my readers… I have decided to accept his challenge, and hope you will too. Think about what you would change, and start today – now – to take steps towards that change. Commit to trying your hardest, being your most positive, making the most out of each moment as it comes, and always being the best parent your kids could want.
Are You Free to Take Some Tea?
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May I inquire discreetly: When are you free to take some tea with me?
~The Beatles
I’ve always loved a good cup of tea. That’s why, when my friend, Amber, at Strocel.com suggested that we all “show her our stash” of tea, I positively jumped at the chance!
I am an avid tea drinker. Okay, truthfully, I don’t really discriminate; at least not in genre, I drink coffee, tea, cocoa… it’s all good. Additionally, as my hands are always cold; a hot cuppa fits the bill quite well. I do, however, have my favorites; and some which I just can’t stand (so they linger, like, forever, in my cabinet). I’d say I’m a 8-cup-a-day drinker; though, it’s not always caffeinated (lest you have a picture in your head of me zooming around like a moth on a porchlight with a cup of something gripped firmly in my jittering hands). Not always. Ahem.
For quite some years, my penchant(s) for tea drinking – and collecting – have collided in a most haphazard way in my kitchen cabinets (always just right out of reach; honestly, I don’t know WHY I’ve never, ever, moved my tea to a more convenient location!), 'til 'round about 10 years ago, when drinking and collecting merged in a more seamless way, and Adam and I opened an online tea shop – selling one of our favorite hot beverages: chai (though, truth be told, much of my tea at home & at work is bought from the tea shop at our grocery store, and I don’t drink as much chai as I once did; preferring the simplicity of a nice, plain, green as I've gotten older. Ahem, again.). [ps: Amber has assured me that owning a tea shop does not disqualify me from participating in the Big Tea Show-Off. But, in all fairness, I felt I did need to disclose that little fact.].
And now... on to stats. And PICTURES!
In my office stash, you can find:
10 boxes of tea
1 can of tea
Many random tea bags & tea k-cups
In my stash at home, you can find:
19 boxes of tea
2 cans of tea
A nonsensical number of random individual tea bags
This pic can perhaps best be described with: O_o
In our warehouse stash… maybe just a pic will suffice:
So... I love tea. And I love people who love tea. I could drink it all day & night; and often do. My kids love tea, too. And, I’m convinced tea keeps you young. And keeps you happy. Or, at least, it keeps you warm. And that counts for something.
Here’s to a Happy New Year, and happy tea drinking!
Bullying, Empathy, and Fixing Stuff that Shouldn't be Broken
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I read a very sad piece a few days ago, from Catherine at HerBadMother.com. Catherine’s nephew Tanner, who has Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy (a terminal illness which confines him to a wheelchair), is being bullied at school. Any bullying is awful, but there’s something particularly appalling about bullying a disabled – and dying – child which has me feeling sick to my stomach.
I started a post, and didn’t quite finish it, and shelved it (so it goes with the 37 pages of unfinished blog posts I have going right now), only to bring it back out in the light, after reading Catherine’s follow-up post, today whose title is aptly titled: Seriously, World. Because, seriously. Bullying a disabled child? And seriously? I can't believe she even had to write the follow up. It makes my heart hurt.
I’ve written about bullying before. It’s a matter which speaks to me personally – as I was bullied terribly as a child. Terribly, of course, is relative. To me, it was terrible. Any, ALL bullying is terrible.
But the thing that makes me so angry about bullying is this: It’s preventable. Reread: IT’S PREVENTABLE, people. World. Seriously. You just gotta treat people nicer.
In the vast, vast majority of cases, I’m going to venture a not-too-far-out guess: Children who bully are children who are bullied at home. And I don’t only mean parents who physically push around or verbally abuse their kids (though there are, unfortunately, plenty – too many – of those [of this, I also know personally]). But I mean also, the subtle bullying of a parent deciding NOT to put importance on her infant’s cries “he’s just doing that to manipulate me – he can cry it out in there, and learn to eat/sleep when I say it’s time to eat/sleep”. Or, bullying exhibit B: not honoring a toddler’s tantrum as a real expression of big feelings by a little person not big enough yet to understand how to verbalize those feelings in a socially appropriate way, as in: “he’s gonna stay in that time out all day ‘til he learns to obey me”. Or, a bullied-at-home child may be abused – physically, verbally, emotionally – as in spank, smack, “shut up”!
My take is this: Small injuries for little ones, when continually brushed off by parents (such as, “oh, you didn’t hurt yourself, you’re fine, stop crying about nothing”), comparisons (“at least your brother knows how to behave” or “you’ll never fit into your sister’s jeans, don’t even try”), or, bigger insults and useless, hurtful labels, (“you’re such a troublemaker” or ”you never listen” or “you’ll never be able to do it”) don’t just go away… they get buried, internalized, only to come to the surface when that child has the opportunity to respond in kind to another, smaller, child. The anger, the hurt, the belittlement – parents, people, world: think about what you’re saying and doing to your child. Think about how you interact with your children. Think about how you want them to face the world. What you say, how you treat your children? THAT is how they are likely treat others, or, how they are likely to be treated themselves (I’d like to take a moment to venture another not-too-far-out guess that if a less outgoing child has grown up in an environment where they are bullied, and it’s tolerated, even expected, they may continue to find themselves attracted to situations and relationships in which they are abused, ignored, harmed, and bullied.). It doesn’t just go away. Kids treat kids the way they are treated.
No one wants this for their child. No parent wants their child to be bullied. No parent wants their child to BE a bully. But we have a choice, parents. We parents can treat our children with kindness, respect, empathy. We don't have to bully or boss around our kids; we can empathize with them, guide them, help them gently on this path of life that's all new and un-jaded to them.
Now, please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying that a time-out at home or a parent who occasionally loses her temper equals a child who trips a kid & laughs about it on the playground. I’m not saying that every parent can or should even strive to parent perfectly.
What I AM saying is that if every parent would just aim to treat their children – treat EVERYONE – as they would want to be treated, this world would be a heck of a better, kinder, gentler, more forgiving place to be. Every bit of love you give you children, it comes back, tenfold. Every kind word, every gentle touch – they give it out to the world. You, parents, are the most important and powerful people in your children’s lives. Use your power to show them, through how you treat them, how they should treat the world.
Empathy. The golden rule. Treat your kids – as often as possible – as you’d want your best friend or partner or anyone to treat you, and you’re a step closer to making sure tragedies like Catherine describes, don’t happen.