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A few evenings ago, Adam & I decided to watch a quick movie before heading up to bed. It was quite late, but we wanted to try to settle our minds a bit after a hectic day – as family, work, and life can sometimes – often – be. The title of this one struck me, as did the length (brief), so we settled in…
(okay, deep breath, because I just watched it again before writing this post…)
I will tell you firstly – in retrospect – this might not be the best thing to watch right before bed. Secondly, if you’re a parent, or soon to be a parent, or want to be a parent, and you watch this… you’re likely to find it deeply affecting.
I can hope it will affect you in a positive and uplifting way, as it did us.
See… I often think about my “bucket list”, and/or the things in our life I’d like to do differently – tomorrow, some day, when I have the chance, when I get the opportunity, when I’m in a better place, or frame of mind, or situation, or whatever. I think most of us do – it’s part of the human condition. But when you’re faced with death. In an instant. Like Mr. Elias was, and will describe… I imagine those things we’ve back-burnered, come rushing to the forefront.
So it really makes me wonder: what am I waiting for? Why not make the best of what I have RIGHT. NOW? Why not try to enjoy each & every moment – small or big, good or bad? If I’m putting out energy, why not make it as positive as possible? And IF I’m putting effort into parenting, why not always do my best to be the most excellent parent I can? I often find myself being okay with “enough” or even surrendering to the “bad parent” character – because yes, we all have those days, and not everyone can be perfect – but. But what if that day, that one day (that maybe is actually a week or a month, because it’s become a habit to just do enough to get through the day, and the next day will be better, right?), is THE day? The last day? What if that day, I KNOW I didn’t go after life with gusto? That I didn’t choose to be happy? That I didn’t try my best as a parent? What if?
So with that, I’ll let you watch the video… Ric Elias: Three Things I Learned While My Plane Crashed
To recap (or, if you can’t see the video for some reason), here’s what Ric Elias learned in those last moments:
1) I no longer want to postpone anything in my life.
2) I decided to eliminate negative energy in my life. I no longer try to be right, I choose to be happy.
3) Above all, above all - the only goal I have in life is to be a good dad.
I was given the gift of a miracle of not dying that day. I was given another gift which was to be able to see into the future and come back and live, differently.
I challenge you today:
How would you change?
What would you get done that you’re waiting to get done because you think you’ll be here forever?
How would you change your relationships & the negative energy in them?
And more than anything – are you being the best parent you can be?
So my readers… I have decided to accept his challenge, and hope you will too. Think about what you would change, and start today – now – to take steps towards that change. Commit to trying your hardest, being your most positive, making the most out of each moment as it comes, and always being the best parent your kids could want.
Sunday Spark: You Have a Choice
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Every moment you have a choice. A choice to feel happy or feel down. A choice to observe or react. To regret or move on. Feel resentful or make a change.
When you’re presented with a challenge, you have a choice of how to face that challenge (or even to walk away – that too is a choice).
At the end of the day, when your reserves are spent, when your children are bouncing off the walls, when bedtime is not quite here, your house is a mess, your to-do list is undone, and you may be wishing you were anywhere else but where you are, you have a choice – to greet your children’s boundless energy with joy, and let it fill you – pushing out the frustration… or to let the frustration consume you, and spill over on to your children.
How you react – or not react – is always up to you.
To show love and tolerance and patience – to choose (and in choosing, teach) happiness and peace is never the wrong course of action.
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Hello readers; it's been a while. Today, I’m going to talk about something serious.
1 in 3 women will develop cardiovascular disease in their lifetime and 1 in 17 women in the US will have a heart attack or hospitalization for heart disease before the age of 60.
Heart disease is the leading cause of death in women, regardless of race.
While waiting somwhere recently, I read a magazine featurette of a woman who had experienced symptoms of fatigue, shortness of breath, and dizziness. She mostly brushed them off, and continued on with her day. As they got progressively worse, her husband encouraged her to see a doctor, who then advised her to head to the hospital because the tests seemed slightly off. She waited at the hospital. (And waited.) While waiting, a man presented with a “typical” heart attack symptom of chest pain and was rushed ahead of her. After hours of waiting she was finally seen by a doctor, where, after more testing, determined that yes, indeed, she had a heart attack.
After doing a bit of research online, it appears that this woman’s story is not unusual. Women are less likely to report heart attack symptoms, and when they DO report them, they are less likely to be diagnosed with a heart attack. Even when presenting with the same symptoms as men, women’s symptoms are more often diagnosed as “anxiety” than as heart disease.
In a study at Weill Medical College of Cornell University, 230 doctors were given cases of men & women with identical symptoms; only half of the cases included “feeling anxious” or “having a stressful experience”. In the cases where stress/anxiety was included, doctors diagnosed heart disease in 56% of men compared with 18% (just eighteen percent!) of women. Men were referred to cardiologists twice as often as women and cardiac meds were prescribed to half the men, vs. 13% of the women. Gender bias at work, folks.
A big part of the problem may be that men’s & women’s heart attack symptoms can differ dramatically. Fewer than 30% of female heart attack suffers reported having chest pain prior to their heart attack, and 43% reported having no chest pain during any phase of their heart attack. NO CHEST PAIN. And yet, according to a study done by the National Institue of Health (“Women’s Early Warning Symptoms of Acute Myocardial Infarction” Circulation. 2003) MOST doctors still consider chest pain as the most significant symptom of a heart attack in both men AND women.
I’m not sure what to make of this. Is it possible that the popular culture belief that heart attack = chest pain (watch any TV show or movie where someone is suffering a heart attack – they immediately grab their chest & collapse, right?) is so ingrained that even doctors don’t know the facts? Yikes.
There was a recent survey of 500 doctors, in which only 8% of family doctors were aware that men’s & women’s heart attack symptoms differ. And (are you ready?) only 17% of CARDIOLOGISTS (you know, HEART doctors) were aware of the fact that more women die from heart disease than men. What?
Ladies, we have a problem here. Women are dying of heart attacks because they aren’t recognizing they’re having them, the people around them aren’t recognizing they’re having them, and even their doctors aren’t recognizing they’re having them.
It’s time for some education.
Women, men, doctors, everyone needs to be aware that the symptoms of heart attack in women can be DIFFERENT than the symptoms of heart attacks in men. We need to change the perception that chest-clutching is the main indicator of heart attack.
Here’s how the symptoms stack up:
Women’s Top Three Heart Attack Symptoms
Shortness of Breath
Weakness
Unusual Fatigue
Women also commonly experience these symptoms leading up to & during a heart attack:
Cold Sweat
Dizziness
Indigestion
Anxiety
Sleep Disturbance
Men’s Top Three Heart Attack Symptoms
Chest Pain
Discomfort or pain in the arm or back
Shortness of Breath
If you experience ANY of these symptoms, don’t ignore them. Tell a loved one, call a doctor. Don’t shrug it off, don’t just soldier on. It may not be anxiety or indigestion. 1 in 17 of you will have a heart attack before you turn 60. That’s less than 25 years away for me, and I don’t particularly like those odds.
So, now you know the differences. But what can we do to improve our odds at suffering cardiovascular disease? While heart disease is the number one killer of women, it’s also one of the most preventable. The basics:
Stop smoking. (21.2 million US women smoke. Seriously?)
Lower your blood pressure. (33% of US women have hypertension)
Exercise. (at least 20 minutes a day; even walking counts – just move)
Eat healthy foods. (Lots of fruits, veggies, nuts, and beans. Ditch the meat & dairy.)
Maintain a healthy weight. (62% of women are overweight, including 33% who are obese)
Control your diabetes. (7 – 10 million US women have diabetes)
Don’t drink too much. (limit yourself to one alcoholic drink/day)
Reduce stress. (Meditate. Write. Yoga. Do something you like, just for you.)
For more information on heart disease in women:
http://www.womenheart.org/
http://myheartsisters.org
http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/heart-disease.cfm
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Every man regards his own life as the New Year's Eve of time.
~Jean Paul
The end of the year is unusual, how it makes you think about time. Of course, we’re always thinking about time – how much we have of it, how much more we wish we had. But on December 31st, the way I think of time changes. Every other day of the year I think of in terms of 24 hours… actually, more like 18 hours – the time when I’m awake in a day (a day of when do I set my alarm to wake, when do my children wake, when do they go to school, and I to work, how many things can I check off my list in my day before picking my children up from school, what projects can we finish or how many games can we play in the time before I have to start preparing dinner, what activities can fill the time before bed, do I have enough time to write while Adam bathes the kids, I can’t believe it’s getting so late and the children aren’t asleep yet, should we work on finishing a project, or should we read or watch a movie and relax and would you look at the time, I’m only going to get 5 hours of sleep tonight… before waking up and doing it all over again. And again).
But then comes New Year’s Eve. The one day in the year that carries a definitive end point – and not just the end of a day or a month, but the end of a year and, for this year – of a decade. Time on New Year’s Eve becomes less of a loop, and more of an explicit period. This year. Next year. What have you done all year? All decade? What will you do next? It’s a time for both reflection and renewal.
(Source: Flikr Artist: Robbert van der Steeg)
Today we spent cleaning, organizing, and finishing projects not completed. And, as the day draws to a close, we have come to the realization that we tend to do this every year – without really planning: we just fall naturally into completing things left undone, tackling jobs left “til tomorrow”, and at the same time, thinking about big things to come. New Year’s Eve is just another day, and yet, the promise of a new year – a new start is so tangible, it motivates us to tie up loose ends and look excitingly ahead to the future. It’s a time to make amends with things unsettled in your mind, reflect on the good events, dust old cobwebs – real and figurative, and muse about what lies ahead.
I’ve made New Year’s Resolutions in the past. But this year, instead of a numbered list of things I resolve to achieve I’ve decided instead to think of things I’m most thankful for in this year, and what promising thoughts and hopes are on the horizon of my 2011:
~ I’m grateful for my children – their beauty and brilliance and their very being is my constant reminder to try harder and reach further.
~ I’m thankful for my husband – his steadfast commitment to happiness and peacefulness in our relationship and connection with our children along with his passion for his work and self-betterment is inspiring.
~ I’m grateful for my blog – it’s helped me rediscover my passion for writing – which had been somewhat lost and shuffled to the bottom of the pile of things to do throughout my life, but is now making it’s way back forefront.
~ I’m thankful for my readers, twitter followers, and facebook friends – knowing people read what I write helps motivate me to keep writing.
(Three of us watching the countdown to the new year. The 4th of us was sleeping.)
I strive this year to stay positive, be more peaceful and forgiving, and reach towards the me that my children already see – with their clear, unbiased, and unconditionally loving eyes.
And, I hope for peace and satisfaction and health for everyone in the new year. Happy 2011!