| Advertising |
|
|
|
|
When we sit down to eat as a family in the evenings, there’s often a rush to the table – kids leaving their play or work in the middle of what they were doing and Adam & I shuffling plates and pots and spoons to get food to everyone. Once we all sit, inevitably someone needs to immediately use the bathroom or grab the catsup or take their socks off, and everyone wants to talk about their day all at once. It can be pretty hectic.
Family meal is a great time to connect with each other, talk about our days, and relax together for a bit. Still, sometimes wish we had a prayer of sorts to start off each meal. Saying a mealtime grace is a nice way to call attention to everyone being settled at the table, and reminds us all of the importance of being thankful for what we have. It can set the tone for a peaceful meal, and help us all feel even more connected with one another and the task at hand (eating as a family).
The graces I grew up with were very religious, as are most of the ones I’ve heard when out eating with others. Since we are a secular household, the mealtime thanks I’m looking for are ones which don’t thank a specific god. After an extensive search, I’m pleased to present a list of non-deity-specific graces! I’m hoping to incorporate one into our family meals each evening:
We love our bread.
We love our butter.
But most of all,
We love each other!
(source: http://www.retrojunk.com/tv/quotes/1688-madeline/ [Madeline series])
For what we are about to receive
let us be truly thankful
to those who prepared it and those who served it.
(source: www.secularseasons.org/celebrations/graces.html)
Earth we thank you for our food,
For work and play and all that's good,
For wind and rain and sun above,
But most of all for those we love.
(source: http://www.confectionique.com/2010_11_01_archive.html)
Thank you for green grass under me
Thank you for blue skys over me
Thank you for good friends beside me
Thank you for good food in front of me
and peace all over the world.
(source: http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/wordsmusic/poems/lovepoems6.asp)
Blessings on our meal, on everyone here and everyone dear.
(source: http://eringoodman.wordpress.com/2007/10/25/meal-blessings/)
Thank you for the food we eat
Thank you for the friends we meet
Thank you for the birds that sing
We give thanks for everything!
(source: http://www.users.ms11.net/~gsong/Graces/nondom.html)
May the food we share feed our bodies
May the words we share feed our minds
May the love we share feed our hearts
(source: http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/358703/mealtime-prayer-of-thanks)
We give thanks for the plants and animals who have given themselves so that we can enjoy this meal together.
We also give thanks for our friends and family who have traveled here today.
May this meal bring us strength and health.
(source: http://www.secularseasons.org/celebrations/graces.html)
Earth who gives to us this food
Sun who makes it ripe and good
Dearest Earth, Dearest Sun:
Joy and Love for all you have done.
(source: http://eringoodman.wordpress.com/2007/10/25/meal-blessings/)
Do you have a mealtime prayer that you say? Please share!
Secular Bedtime Prayers for Children
|
| Advertising |
|
|
|
|
|
|
As a child I went to sleep every night “saying my prayers”. The repetition of familiar words every evening was a calming ritual for me; helping me settle into the business of sleeping.
Now, as a (non-religious) adult, I no longer say these prayers at night, though I recognize the benefit of having a routine in the evenings. Sometimes I miss having a “prayer” of sorts to say at night, but somehow, “Now I lay me down to sleep… if I should die before I wake…” doesn’t seem quite appropriate anymore (actually, wondering if the mention of death before sleep was ever really an appropriate prayer for a child), so I resort to tea and television or books or the internet as my sleep aid.
I’ve come to recognize, over my years as a parent, the need for routine for children at bedtime. Adam or I still lie down with our kids each night, oftimes we talk about our favorite & least favorite parts of the day. Sometimes we say what we’re thankful for. Occasionally we’ll sing a song, tell a story, or math quizzes (all at our children’s request - they naturally love math, thank you Maria Montessori!). And while the spontaneity of our before-sleep ministrations has a certain appeal, I also sometimes wish we had a more regular routine. I’m not saying that we need a prayer before bed; yet, I think repetition can be a calming lead-in to relaxation and sleep. And, as my children get older, a prayer of sorts could be a comforting reminder of home, and of childhood.
So to that end, I went out into the vastness of the internet (even calling on my Twitter friends for help), and located a few non-denominational poems/songs/prayers that could fit the bill for a calming night time routine. Here are a few of my favorites…(I've adapted/edited a bit; sources are below each)
Goodnight Earth
The earth is big and fat and round.
I love the sky, the sea, and the ground.
I love the birds and dogs and sheep,
and all the animals that fall asleep.
I love the flowers and rocks and trees.
I love the earth, and it loves me.
(Source: http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/pagankidsbedtimeprayers)
We Love the Earth
For the golden corn and the apple on the tree,
For the golden butter and the honey from the bees,
For the fruits and nuts and berries we gather on our way,
We love the earth and thank it everyday.
(Source: http://www.beliefnet.com/Prayers/New-Age/Meals/In-Gratitude-To-Mother-Earth.aspx + a special thank you to @resident_hippie for pointing me in the right direction for this one*)
Count Your Joys
Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth;
Love your neighbor as much as yourself.
(Source: http://www.naute.com/inspiration/count.phtml)
The Earth Mother
We are thankful to our Mother, the Earth, for she gives us
all that we need for life.
She supports our feet as we walk about upon her.
It gives us joy that she continues to care for us
as she has from the beginning of time.
To our Mother Earth, we send greetings and thanks.
(Source: http://ancient-pnevma.blogspot.com/2011/05/humble-yet-wise-native-american-prayer.html)
*A thank you to @DianaIBCLC & @BeingMama for their fabulous before-bed ideas too
So what does your bedtime routine look like? Do you have a specific prayer or poem or song you recite every night; or is each bedtime different?
| Advertising |
|
|
|
|
|
|
“Is Santa real?” That is the question of the season. On its heels: “Does he really come down the chimney?” “Do reindeer really fly?” “Is the same Santa that makes all the presents the one who is at the mall?” “What are elves?”
And thus, the dilemma presents itself to parents each year: to tell the truth or not.
(Credit: Norman Rockwell Source: SeriousPuzzles.com)
In six Christmases, I’ve chosen to stand on the literal side of the fence. Santa Claus isn’t a real man that comes down your chimney (okay, that’s just a bit creepy of a thing to have children thinking anyway, isn’t it, really?), living in the coldest place on earth, with a bunch of small workers called elves, riding an enormous magical sleigh pulled by flying reindeer all around the world in one night to every child’s home and leaving them presents based on his determination of year-round childhood “badness” or “goodness” (heck, we even avoid those judgment calls in our daily parenting). I just don’t like to tell my kids that he IS, when – he’s not.
Now, I don’t say things to my children things like, “Other kids’ parents tell them that Santa is real but it’s really just THEM giving their kids presents”. I don’t want my kids to be the “revealer of parental untruths” to children whose parents may be riding the Santa-is-real train. I’m not out to squash the spirit of Santa. Really, the spirit of Santa is okay with me. It’s more the concocting layers of false “evidence” (cookies half eaten, left by the fireplace, “footprints” in the snow, etc.), in order to convince children (who by their very nature are very literal and want to believe their parents) of the really realness of Santa, that rubs me the wrong way. I prefer to just treat him as part of the holiday landscape that he is, without creating stories; without eroding trust.
When direct questions about his realness come up, I turn the conversation to them – allowing them to formulate their own opinions, like:
Question: Does Santa deliver all the presents in one night?
Answer: Do you think that’s possible to do? How many kids are there in the world? How big is the world? How fast would he have to fly to make that possible?
Question: Does Santa come down everyone’s chimney?
Answer: Does everyone have a chimney? What about kids who don’t?
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a Scrooge. I really do love Christmas; it’s my favorite holiday. I enjoy decorating, putting up the tree, singing Christmas songs, buying and making gifts for people, and baking cookies (especially baking cookies!). Christmas is warm and magical and wonderful.
But what I don’t like about Christmas is the untruthful-business surrounding all-things-Santa: the acceptance, even expectation, that lying to children at this time of year is appropriate and encouraged (I’ve had strangers come up to my children and warn them they’d “better be good this year, or Santa won’t bring them anything for Christmas”, followed by a knowing wink to me). I’m simply not comfortable with telling my children that being truthful is important – only to lie to them about Santa.
Telling children Santa is real might be festive, magical, fun, or even helpful to shape behavior around the holidays, but to me, the cost of wrapping the fun of the holiday in a package of deception isn’t one I’m willing to take on, just for the sake of not killing the magic.
Christmas IS magical because of actual, real things: picking the most perfect present for someone you love and watching their eyes light up when they open it on Christmas morning. Christmas IS magical when you’re listening to Enya singing O Come, O Come Emmanuel and you get chills. Christmas is magical when you’re walking around in the crisp, frosty air, look at the Christmas lights twinkling in the newly fallen snow. Christmas IS magical when you wake in the morning to beautifully wrapped presents under the tree and the smell of cinnamon.
I don't want my children to experience the let down of “finding out the truth”. I want them to always have real reasons to look forward to Christmas morning, even beyond the age of Santa belief, real reasons to behave, and above all, real knowledge that when their parents tell them about something, they can trust it, and believe it. So this year, like others, I’ll treat Santa as another adornment of Christmas – just like the tree, the lights, the stockings, the presents, and the music. All of these things can be magical – are magical – without the baggage of untruth.
So, how do you handle the Santa dilemma? Are you a Santatheist? Or do you convince your children that Santa is real?