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    At dinner last night, the subject of our recently passed dog, Haley came up.  I said that I missed her.  My children echoed that sentiment.  My 2 yo then asked, "Where is Haley?" to which I replied that she died; her body was very sick, and died (we had previously discussed this at length when she was sick with cancer, and at her passing).  He said, "but where IS she?"  To which my 5 yo replied, "Well, she’s probably another person by now".

     

    It was just then, that I saw that my spiritual “beliefs”, as much as I’ve tried not to foist them on my children, are developing in my childrens’ minds.  I’ve talked to my daughter about my thoughts about death & “reincarnation” of sorts… in that I believe when a body dies, there is an energy, a spirit, life force, soul, whathaveyou, that continues on.  The body is just a container for that energy. The energy is what makes you, YOU. Maybe this energy goes back into the earth – to help the trees grow stronger, maybe it finds its way into another animal, or newborn baby. And thus the life cycle & energy cycle continues.  The more positive we are in life, the more energy we have, the more we have to give & share with others on our life path.  I don’t have any proof of this.  I don’t have any documentation or books or doctrine.  I just feel it.  I feel we’re connected with everything & everyone living.  I feel it when we take walks in nature.  I felt it supremely with my dog, when she was living… if my energy was low, sad, angry… just being close to her filled me up.  My children are the same way – full of energy & light.  I want to pass this along to them – this feeling of connectedness with the earth & people around them.  That if they’re feeling low, a hug from a friend, a walk in the woods, a pat of a dog can help you feel more positive, and when you're positive you're more creative, and more intelligent, and able to pass positive energy on to others through the things that you say & do in life.

     

    It made me feel good to hear her say what she did.  Yet, there was a bit of discomfort there as well, since, I’m just not SURE about these things.  My feelings about spirituality are just how I FEEL, and am continually adjusting & growing in my thoughts about life, as I move through it.  Yet, so many things in life I tell them, I’m SURE about: running into the street without looking is dangerous, going out in the winter without a coat will make you cold. But death? Or the reason for life? The bigger meaning? I haven’t figured that out; so it’s a bit disconcerting, when they’re looking to me for certainties, to say, “Well, this is what I THINK…”. But for now, that’s where I am.  And they seem okay with that. I think I’ll go take a walk.

    Posted: Nov 13 2009, 09:36 by kelly | Comments (5) RSS comment feed |
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    Comments

    LindsayDianne Canada said:

    LindsayDianneThis is a beautiful entry.
    You'll never know for sure what happens. All any of us can ever do is explain to our children what we think. Some pass it off as knowing, some as fact... but the truth is that if you're alive you know no more about the afterlife than any other living person does.

    Uncertainty always comes with a bit of discomfort, but I think you've done a great job. If your daughter is able to say what she did it means that she's secure and unafraid. That's far more than many other parents can offer their children.
    Congrats on a job well done!

    # November 13 2009, 15:11

    Faedemere United States said:

    FaedemereYou echoed my "belief" so well! I also think it is perfectly ok to tell our children we don't know the answer to their questions.  Having them see us as evolving spiritual beings is more important in my opinion than them seeing us as "all knowing"
    We recently lost my father-in-law to a sudden heart attack.  He was really the only grandpa my kids knew, and explaining to them that he was gone was very hard for my husband and I to come to grips with.  In the end what we said was pretty much how you explained things to your daughter. Also that Poppa lives on in our memories and our hearts.
    Explaining the crying adults all around at the memorial was a bit harder! My sweet 6 year old is very empathetic and had a hard time with all the sadness.  He finally asked me if he could offer a hug to his grandma. I told him of course he could and I think that helped him knowing he could offer love to someone who was hurting.  Again a wonderful life lesson at such a young age.
    So much in this life is uncertain.  Being there and sharing that uncertainty sometimes is more important than having the answer.

    # November 14 2009, 00:01

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